Nearly transfer day

Well as you can see I haven’t updated in a while. But I’ve been super busy.

I ended up having nearly two weeks off work recovering from OHSS and have started back at university for the final semester of my masters degree.

I’d also applied for a promotion in a different faculty at the university ages ago – before my last round of IVF, and simply forgotten about it. Out of the blue a week ago I got a call to come in for an interview. I felt very conflicted about it. The job meant more money, was located on a campus closer to home and was ideally suited to me. It was a lot more similar to my old dream job than what I’m currently doing. Except obviously timing isn’t ideal. My workplace has been so supportive of my treatment, my boss and team have been great, and I wasn’t sure if I could add the stress of a new job to my already stressful life.

Nonetheless, I went along to the interview. Doug convinced me to still attend as interviews are always good experience. I wore an extremely loose fitting dress to cover my swollen belly but I was still in so much pain from OHSS I could barely walk up the staircase to the interview room.

Needless to say there were several moments during the interview when I was in so much pain I simply lost my train of thought and had to say “um…can you please repeat the question.” I also had to undertake a work test, and I really struggled with the Microsoft Access section of the test because my brain is still so foggy.

I rang Doug as I left and laughed at how stupid I must have looked. “That’s one job I certainly won’t get a call back for!”

But as it turns out I did get a call back. I was asked to come in for a second interview, which really surprised me. At the second interview a week later I was much more myself and my brain was less foggy. I felt I performed much better and as I left the building I realised I felt very nervous. It somehow had begun to matter to me if I got the job or not.

Meanwhile, preparations for my FET were continuing. After my period ended I started on progynova. Progynova is used mainly as part of hormone replacement therapy for menopausal women because it replaces the hormone oestradiol that the body no longer makes. But for FET cycles it’s used to build up the lining of the uterus to the point where it’s an inviting place for a little embryo to set up camp. I went back to see my doctor several times and he checked the lining of my uterus to make sure it was building up to the point where it could sustain a pregnancy.

I also started on crinone suppositories. Crinone is super fun! If you’re a masochist.

Crinone is a progesterone gel. It’s favoured by most fertility specialists in Australia because it has the best results of any gel available. They prefer to use gel suppositories to progesterone injections because the injections are painful, can cause bad bruising of your butt and also build up lumps of oil at the injection sites, which often make it painful or uncomfortable to sit down. Depending on individual circumstances women are prescribed one or two crinone suppositories per day. They’re usually inserted in the cervix, but as a secondary option they can also be inserted in the backside (to put it nicely :|) if there is a reaction in the cervix.

A lot of women would be used to using a pessary or some sort of gel to treat thrush, which is also inserted in the cervix and then sort of slides out over the next few hours. Crinone isn’t like that. Crinone stays put. As you insert more and more, you get a massive disgusting heavy build up to the point where it’s hard to even insert the gel anymore because nothing else fits up there. Sometimes huge gooey lumps of crinone will fall out. It can be white, it can be grey, it can be pink, it can be peach. It is always disgusting. It horrified me, but my doctor encouraged me to not irritate my cervix by scraping it out with my fingers. So I had to just let it sit up there, itching me. It got to the point where putting my finger near the opening of my cervix to insert more gel made me gag. I would describe the inside of my cervix as feeling like a cold cauliflower covered in lumpy mayonnaise. You’re welcome!

The first time some of the crinone fell out of my cervix I was in the shower. It was a smelly grey lump about as big as a 50c coin. Doug was in the bathroom cleaning his teeth. I screamed and he came rushing over to me.

“LOOK AT THIS!” I cried. “MY INSIDE IS FALLING OUT. WHAT IS THIS???”

“OH MY GOD DARLING WHAT IS THAT?” Doug replied, matching my level of shrieking. “DO WE NEED TO TAKE YOU TO THE HOSPITAL?”

As nothing else fell out, I decided to wait until the next morning to visit the clinic. There, a  fertility nurse at the clinic calmed me down and explained it was normal and expected. Yeah, thanks for the heads up there guys! Super appreciated!

The best news of all is that you get to take crinone for a very long time. It’s not a short term deal like the IVF injections. If you get pregnant after your treatment, you have to take crinone for the entire first trimester. I shudder at the thought!

While all this FET and crazy grey goop stuff was going on, I got the phone call to say I’d been given the promotion! I was thrilled but also very nervous. How awful to start a new job possibly pregnant. I felt like I was letting my current team down by leaving them after they’d been so supportive, I also felt like I was letting down my new team by maybe abandoning them in 8 months time.

But I’ve also realised I can’t let the world stop spinning just because I’m going through IVF. I need to take opportunities when they arise, and live for myself, not just for my future children. So I start my new job next week.

But before then, I get my embryo transfer in two days. I’ll get to meet my little Nemo. So happy!

Seriously though……why does everything have to happen at once???

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