Good news, bad news.

Is this actually happening to me again?

Yesterday I saw strong positives on two home pregnancy tests. The trigger was definitely out of my system because I tested it out last week. You can’t imagine my level of excitement.

This morning I tested with three tests. The line is barely visible on two of them and the third test is negative.

This is another chemical pregnancy isn’t it? Am I watching this one fade out so quickly?

My doctor keeps telling me I have one of the best uterus linings she has ever seen. But is it not sticky enough? Or something? Does it smell bad? Is it not as cool as the other uteruses and my embryos don’t want to hang out with it?

Last night I went to sleep dreaming about having a baby to hold in July. This morning I think that dream was just a nightmare.

This is why the doctors tell you not to test early. This right here. Ugh why do we do this to ourselves?

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11 thoughts on “Good news, bad news.

  1. we do love to torture ourselves don’t we?! i am currently dissecting every twinge and feeling in my countdown to beta. hang in there! last time i tested with a drug store brand and got + and then with a dollar store brand and got – (i was pregnant). only a few more days til beta. deep breaths and positive thoughts, it’s all you can do. xox

    • I need to try and keep calm but obviously it’s easier said than done!! I’m having strong period type cramping. I know that’s a sign of early pregnancy. It’s also a sign of miscarriage. Or it could just be from the progesterone gel. I have no idea! The only thing I know for sure is that I’m driving myself mad!!

    • I know it’s stupid to test before my beta but I guess I don’t have willpower. When I saw the positive tests yesterday I thought “Yes! Finally! The universe is throwing me a bone!” but apparently it isn’t. I’ll have to wait and see what my official level is in two days time.

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