A wake-up call for all of us.

The other day I received what was clearly a spam comment that somehow made it through the wordpress filter system. Ordinarily I’d just delete it, but then I changed my mind and thought I might share it instead so you can all learn some very important lessons:

The most obvious way of boosting your chances of getting pregnant is to have sex quite frequently. Although this might seem pretty trivial, the timing of having sex is equally important. Women ovulate at different times according to their cycles, so it is essential to calculate their most fertile days. For those women who are fairly regular in their cycle, the 14th day of their cycle is the most fertile. Even for those who aren’t regular, they can find out their most fertile period easily with the help of an ovulation kit. Sperms remain in the body of a women for about six days but the egg only has a lifespan of about 24 hours, so it is advisable to have sex about 2-3 times a week.Having the right position during intercourse is equally if not more important. The sperms have to travel all the way to the female’s fallopian tubes, hence some positions like the women lying on her back or placing a pillow below the hips do help in conceiving better by guiding the sperms at an upward angle.

The most obvious way to boost my pregnancy chances is to have sex frequently? My goodness why didn’t I think of this before? My husband and I have wasted two and a half years of our lives, and tens of thousands of dollars on IVF and multiple surgeries when all we had to do was have sex!

And I wish I’d known before that even though I don’t have a regular cycle I can still easily find out when I ovulate thanks to an ovulation kit. Never mind the fact I don’t ovulate at all. Never mind about that!

You guys, this may startle you, but I think I’ve been doing this all wrong! The entire time!

What’s more, I think we’ve all been doing it all wrong!

Okay everyone, new plan. We all need to have sex 2-3 times a week, use ovulation kits and put pillows under our butts. All our problems will be solved quite instantly. Put away your tissue boxes because there won’t be any more tears around here. We will all be parents by next Christmas at the very latest.

You’re welcome, guys. You’re welcome.

 

 

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14 thoughts on “A wake-up call for all of us.

  1. It ALWAYS amazes me how people can be so ignorant as to think that women who are trying to conceive would POSSIBLY be too stupid to do the VERY thing that would land us pregnant!! I can think of so many candidates for a glassectomy – implanting a glass belly button so these people with their heads so far up their rears can still see where they’re going!! Boy, oh boy.

  2. In all the blog posts I read surrounding such a heavy topic, it is so nice to find a bit of humor. Thank you for sharing. Much needed chuckle today.

  3. I couldn’t help but laugh as I read this! haha! My favorite is when someone tells me to “just relax”. I used to look at them and say, “relaxing wont cure my PCOS but thanks”…but my hubby would get so embarrassed with my rudeness back. So instead I just think it 🙂 Thanks for the post. It gave me a good chuckle!

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