I’ve been sitting at my desk at work, quietly sobbing for about three hours now.
I can’t believe nobody has even noticed. Maybe I’m just really good at masking my pain now.
I received more bad news today. News I’m not even really ready to talk about yet.
I am so completely broken.
How am I ever going to be a whole person again?
I keep waiting for this miraculous day people keep talking about, where I wake up in the morning and I feel okay about my life.
I don’t believe in that day. I don’t believe it will ever come.
Why did this have to happen to me?
Why do other people get to have children but all my babies had to die?
Why do other wives feel loved and supported by their husbands in times of trouble, but mine couldn’t bail out fast enough?
I must be a terrible, horrible person. You have to be really really bad for your entire family to not want to be with you.
I just…I can’t.
I can’t keep going but I can’t stop. I’m like a shark – if I stop swimming I’ll sink to the ocean floor and suffocate.
What did I do to deserve this life?
My husband is lucky he is escaped from me.
There is no goodness here.