The baby shower!

So I had my baby shower on the weekend.

That’s actually really weird for me to say because I never, ever thought I would have a baby shower.

I mean I never thought I would have a baby. I still don’t, if I’m honest with you. I’m still waiting for that other shoe to drop.

Even when my baby shower invitations were ordered and then sent out to people, it still didn’t feel like a tangible thing. It felt like someone else’s life. I kept on worrying that somehow having a baby shower would bring me bad luck.

I also felt really bad asking people to bring me gifts, so I put on the invitations that presents weren’t necessary. I know the gifts are for the baby, but I’m not the kind of person who likes people to go out of their way for me or fuss over me. I don’t feel comfortable as the centre of attention.
 
Not to mention the fact that I stressed for weeks in the lead up to the event that hardly anybody would turn up.
 
For basically 10 years I belonged to the same group of friends, and Doug got custody of them in our divorce. I haven’t even seen any of them since the day we split and I don’t think they even know where I live nowadays let alone that I’m pregnant. So obviously none of them were invited to my shower.
 
20 months ago when Doug left me (has it actually been that long?!) I was lucky enough to make a new group of friends in the city. Just as I was starting to really become ingratiated in that little clique, I up and moved to Paradise. For the most part I tried to stay in touch with my city friends, but it just wasn’t the same.
 
Then I had just started making some new friendships here in Paradise when I fell pregnant, went through the emotional hell that I’ve previously documented on my blog and basically became a social hermit.

Not to mention my three closest friends are all males so they couldn’t be invited because it was a girls-only event.

Plus the fact that some of my “close” friends had reacted really badly when I announced I was pregnant 12 weeks ago and had refused to congratulate me.
 
Basically, because I felt like I didn’t have any super close girlfriends left in either the city or Paradise I was getting chest pain anxiety that my mother and I would be sitting alone at my baby shower surrounded by uneaten cupcakes and cucumber sandwiches.
 
It didn’t help that a whole swag of people never bothered to RSVP to the invites I sent out, and of those who did respond, five pulled out in the few days before the baby shower.

My mother spent a week in the lead-up to the event slaving away organising decorations, planning games, baking cookies and cakes and making so much food it could feed an army. I kept on begging her not to put in so much effort in case nobody showed up.

On the morning of my baby shower, I stupidly weighed myself. I was officially up 17kg (37 pounds) on my pre-pregnancy weight. I was absolutely appalled and devastated and ashamed and every other negative adjective you can think of.

Although to be honest I’m pretty sure each of my breasts weighs 3kg each at the moment because they’re hard and heavy like rocks.

This is the part where I shamefully admit that I wore pregnancy spanx under my baby shower dress to smooth my lumps and bumps. No, I didn’t know they made pregnancy spanx either. But it turns out that they do! And I love them.

I may even marry them. After I’ve married my pregnancy pillow. Yes I will be in a polygamous marriage with my spanx and my pregnancy pillow. That’s not unusual at all, right? 

Anyway, I got myself all ready for the baby shower – still expecting nobody to show up – and did my hair all pretty. Then I stepped outside and realised it was 34 degrees (93F) outside and there was no way I was going to cope in the heat with my hair down. My makeup was basically melting off my face.

At that point, my cousin Phoebe turned up so she took me back into my bathroom and did my hair for me so it still looked pretty but was up off my neck. I was extremely grateful.

Then the doorbell started ringing.

At first it was just my family – my aunt, some cousins, my grandmother.

Then suddenly I couldn’t even get the front door shut because girls kept turning up so rapidly. Fourteen of the people who turned up had even driven two hours from the city to be there!

In the end I had 27 family members and girlfriends attend the baby shower, which was completely above and beyond anything I had ever expected. I mean we didn’t even have enough chairs for everybody! Luckily my mother had organised all that food because it was certainly needed.

The other thing that shocked me was that every single person who walked through that door was carrying a gift. I had specifically printed on the invitation not to bring me anything, but they’d gone ahead and bought gifts anyway.

I’d left a little space on a side table in the kitchen in case a few people turned up with something small. But the gifts overtook the whole table and then spilled onto the floor and were just everywhere. Honestly I was completely overwhelmed and didn’t know how to even react.

From that point onward everything was pretty chaotic. I didn’t get to sit down or eat anything because every 15 seconds someone else called my name and wanted to talk to me.

Girls wanted tours of the nursery, everyone wanted to touch my belly, everyone wanted photos. I got some amazing photos and I’m so sad I can’t share them with you. I’ll be weird and just post a few with faces covered.

There were a few glitchy moments during the afternoon…

James’ mother, stepmother and sister all turned up for the event – which I was very grateful for.

But there was a giant card by the front door for people to sign their well wishes for the baby. Every single person wrote “To Sadie…” and then left a nice message.

The three of them were the only ones who wrote “To James and Sadie…” which I felt was very passive aggressive. Especially as they are completely aware of the situation and the way James has treated me in the past.

I mean James wasn’t at the baby shower and had specifically said he’d rather die than attend because it didn’t interest him. So why include him?! In a weird way I almost felt like it ruined the card because now his name is stuck on it forever.

The other weird moment was when everyone was sitting out on the back patio chatting happily, when James’ stepmother suddenly says “Oh Sadie have I told you the latest news on my granddaughter?”

James’ stepsister has a 10 month old baby who is severely disabled. She has microcephaly, is blind, deaf, mute and unable to even cry, amongst other health problems. She basically lives in the hospital and has a very poor prognosis.

This has caused me immense stress during my pregnancy, because none of her health issues were picked up in-utero. As a first time mum who already has quite serious anxiety, the idea that something similar could be wrong with my own baby is very frightening.

James had specifically told his stepmother on multiple occasions not to raise the subject of the disabled baby around me because it was causing me to have panic attacks. Not to say that I don’t care because I really do, just that I can’t cope with the horrible news at the moment. It sets me off into a panic.

But she sat there at the table, surrounded by my friends and family and gave me a full report on the baby’s prognosis. Talking about a dying baby at a baby shower isn’t overly appropriate and made me feel kind of sick to my stomach.

Other than that, the whole day was wonderful.

I received some amazing gifts which I was so grateful for.

My aunt gave me a tiny silver baby bracelet with a little diamond encrusted baby charm on it. I have no idea why my kid needs a fancy diamond encrusted bracelet but now she has one hahaha.

One of my newer friends from Paradise brought me a huge gift bag full of books for the baby. I’m so excited to read to her and have been keeping all my own childhood books for her, but now she will have her own new books too. I was so happy I almost cried.

I received a few toys – some rattles, stuffed toys and some of those fancy light up singing educational toys that I know babies love. She was also given one of those play mats for newborns that have the toys hanging above them. What are they called? Play gyms?

Ummmm…heaps of baby wipes, nappies, baby shampoo, nappy balm, lotions, some gift cards, clothes, hats, beanies, socks, mittens, wash cloths. Honestly there was so much stuff I can’t even recall most of it.

One of my friends gave me some candles and bath salts to pamper myself too because she wanted me to have my own little gift and not just stuff for the baby. I thought that was very sweet. She also gave me a whole heap of chocolates to pack into my hospital bag – clearly she knows me very well haha.

Oh and my brother’s girlfriend gave me a gift on behalf of both of them: the Bright Starts Ingenuity Baby Swing (click for here more info) which I really badly wanted but couldn’t afford and also some money in a card to buy a charlichair (also click for more info) which was the other thing at the top of my list. In no way did I ever expect anyone to be so generous.

I’m so excited that my brother is so excited to become an uncle. Particularly as his initial reaction to my pregnancy was negative and he blurted out that I’d made a huge mistake. I’m close with my brother and so glad he’s now fully on board.

But anyway.

The point is my baby shower was an amazing day. It was surreal and wonderful.

For the first time in my whole pregnancy I felt truly loved and supported instead of stressed and isolated.

I will be forever grateful to my mother for hosting such a lovely afternoon for me and I’m so glad everything went so smoothly.

Now for the photos with the weird blurred out faces!

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This is me at 31 weeks pregnant. Can you say huuuuuge mama? Not just a huge bump but the fact I’m carrying 17 extra kilograms!

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The hairstyle my cousin Phoebe jazzed up for me – complete with a fresh flower.

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The backyard all set up for the event (obviously before everyone arrived…)

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Just a small sample of the decorations. My mother did that bunting by hand!

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Some of the cakes and cookies my mum baked. My biggest regret is everyone eating the food before I could take photos of it – particularly the cakes!

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More food…

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My mum even created a weird fruit baby hahaha!

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My littlest baby thorougly enjoyed being passed around and cuddled by 27 adoring women.

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Opening just a few of my gifts and trying not to blubber because I was so grateful.

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This is my friend who said Rachel was a yuk name so if your name is Rachel feel free to send bad vibes her way hahaha (no I’m kidding don’t actually do that…).

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My brother’s girlfriend – the one who gave me the amazing baby swing. We sent this photo to him and told him that babies are catching. He was horrified!

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This is James’ sister. I am 31 weeks pregnant in this photo and she is 29 weeks pregnant. Can you see now why I am so self conscious about my body? And never mind my chicken vagina – she proudly announced on Facebook she has zero stretchmarks at all. *Sigh*

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My lovely mum who made the whole day possible. Don’t ask me why I look so rotund in this photo I think it’s just a bad angle..

I wish I could share heaps more photos with you guys but they all have too many faces in them to block out.

So you’ll just have to take my word for it that the day was very special and I’m a very happy mama-to-be.

Sadie xx

 

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23 thoughts on “The baby shower!

  1. You look wonderful, Sadie (even with a heart for a face haha) I’m so glad that you had a wonderful baby shower and it went better than planned for the most part

  2. Sadie! I’m so glad you had a wonderful baby shower. This is going to sound creepy, but I was thinking about your story and I swear it would make a fantastic book! You’re so strong and have endured so much for the sake of your miracle baby! Congratulations!!!

    • Haha thank you! Sometimes when weird stuff happens in my life I also think about turning it into a book but then sometimes I also think I’ve been through so much drama people probably wouldn’t even believe it was a true story…

  3. I second that you should write a book! I have been waiting for your updates πŸ™‚ glad you had a nice shower. Sorry James family seems to be weird! If you don’t have any rattles or toys still, let me know and I don’t mind sending a few little things from Australia (although tour daughter would probably end up with a stuffed wombat as well, lol)

      • Haha thank you! Given we’re in the same country and names of baby items seem to differ so much from country to country (diapers v nappies, cots v cribs etc) I’m actually going to ask you for some advice soon. Because possibly the non-Aussies won’t understand the names I’m using to refer to items haha.

        I’m going to post a little inventory of the stuff I have for my daughter and I’d love some advice on what’s missing. Like I don’t know how many toys little babies need or what is essential to get. I used all my resources to buy the big stuff like the cot and pram, and then bought a lot of other stuff like a breast pump, change table and baby monitor second hand. I think I have most of the big stuff now but I’m just not sure how many toys she will need, how many nappies she will need, how many swaddles she will need etc.

      • I can only give advice based on having 7 nieces and nephews. I am still TTC’ing myself! But considering my SIL just sent me a message saying my nephew is currently obsessed with whisk. I think toys will be fine, lol

  4. You are gorgeous and are carrying this little girl so well. I do understand how you can be upset by James’ family but well… The others made up for them!

  5. So happy to read this! You so deserve this and I’m so glad you finally got to enjoy and treasure being a mamma-to-be x And ginormous snaps to your amazing mum too!

  6. looks like a lovely day. you deserve it and i am happy to see you and baby girl were “showered” with so much love. you don’t look big to me. honestly! you say you’ve gained 37 pounds but you are carrying it very well and i don’t think that is an overly huge belly for your gestation. you will be very surprised at how much “pregnancy” weighs. i gained 29 lbs and after Maeve was born and i lost all my retained water weight, i had only gained 10 lbs.

    • Oh my goshhhh I just saw this comment from you and thought it was weird because I haven’t seen a blog post from you in months and assumed you were off being a mama and not posting anymore. So I clicked on your name and it turns out my blog has somehow managed to unfollow you?!?! I’m so sorry I’m going to catch up on your posts now!!!

      p.s I seriously hope I lose that much weight after my baby is born and that mine is also water weight!

  7. Someone else had this problem a little while ago … So strange… Glad we are all squared away πŸ™‚ hope you feeling good. Getting closer!

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