Just great…

I’m pretty sure I’m in the early stages of labour at the moment. I’m actually pretty stressed out about it.

My contractions aren’t regular yet but coming more frequently (at the moment 2 or 3 an hour) and it doesn’t look like I will make it to my scheduled c-section day.

As you know I’ve been miserable for weeks about the fact I need a c-section and have only just fully come to terms with it in the last couple of days.

Well…my aunt has just phoned my mother and gone off like a crazy person because apparently I’m an idiot for scheduling a c-section. I was sitting next to my mother and heard the whole thing.

Apparently I’ve done the wrong thing and made the wrong decision.

She reckons babies turn when they’re ready. And if they don’t turn then midwives just manually turn them.

My aunt is a scientist. She does not work in the field of obstetrics or midwifery but she seems to think being a scientist makes her an expert in everything.

According to her doctors “trick” weak minded women into c-sections because it’s just easy and convenient for them. Plus they earn more money from c-sections. I’m basically being conned.

Even when Mum explained my baby is too big to manually turn and the doctor said she is stuck where she is, my aunt rubbished her.

Mum explained the doctor estimated the chance of the ECV working was less than the chance of sending the baby into distress but my aunt insisted the baby is turnable.

Even when Mum explained my baby is footling breech and if I go into labour and birth naturally the baby can’t be born safely because her legs are totally split, my aunt said the doctor was lying to me about the position of my baby to get his own way.

Every single time Mum tried to explain that I was having a c-section for the safety of the baby, my aunt refuted that and said the c-section was just my choice but I was making the wrong choice.

MY CHOICE?!

I didn’t want this. I didn’t choose this. I didn’t want my baby to be breech.

I wanted a natural damn water birth!

She has made me feel like a terrible mother now. Like I’m doing all this for nothing.

I know she is wrong. At least I think she is? I have seen ultrasound evidence that my baby is footling breech. I have watched my doctor unsuccessfully try to manipulate my baby’s head away from my lungs. I know he isn’t lying to me.

But I am physically in pain and I’m so tired and stressed and hormonal and now I’m questioning every decision I have made.

I DON’T NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS RIGHT NOW.

I never asked them to try to manually turn my baby because the doctor said it wasn’t going to work. Should I have just insisted upon it??

I am now going to have this c-section knowing there are people in my family who think I’ve made the wrong decision and I’m just having a c-section for convenience.

I feel friggen awful. I just want to cry.

Why why why why why can’t my life ever just go smoothly??

My mum reckons that my aunt’s anger actually stems from an incident on the weekend involving my cousin (my aunt’s daughter).

My cousin contacted me and said she wanted to know the date of my c-section so she could take some time off work to come stay with me. Never mind that I’d never invited her to do this…

I kindly explained that I was keeping the date a secret so I could have some time (meaning…24 hours, not a few weeks) to get to know the baby before I was bombarded with well wishers and visitors.

Further, I explained James would be with me for the first few days and so perhaps it would be best if she held off on visiting for a short period of time until James had gone home (because the two of them don’t get along and frankly I don’t need that stress when I’ve got a newborn).

Well she was furious. She basically said she had more rights to see the baby than James did and even if he was there he could just “sit in the corner and change dirty nappies” whilst she and I were with the baby.

I told her no. I explained that no matter what anyone’s opinion of James is, he does have a right to spend a few days bonding with his daughter. So I wouldn’t be pushing him into a corner.

This was exasperated by a previous disagreement I had with my cousin a few weeks ago because she wanted to be in the delivery room instead of James. Once again she believed she had more of a right to be there than he did.

I understand she doesn’t like him. Hell, nobody in my family likes him. Most of the time I don’t like him! So I get it, I do.

But this is my baby and my birth. It should be up to me who is there with me, and I shouldn’t be dictated to by my 23 year old cousin. I shouldn’t be dictated to by anybody right now.

So now she is angry as hell and she’s not talking to me. And apparently now her mother thinks I’m an idiot for having a c-section.

Honestly when did my family become so dysfunctional?? My family has always been so middle class and normal and well…boring.

But isn’t this delightful!!

Anyone else wanna jump in and have a go at me??

Early labour is the perfect time for everyone to air their dirty laundry right?

Meanwhile, James came up to Paradise on the weekend to take me out to lunch for mothers day. He was very lovely and supportive and took me to a nice restaurant.

Then he let me go to a jewelry store and pick out a new necklace for my birthday which is coming up next week.

It was in no way extravagant, it was a heart shaped pendant that set him back about $200.

But it’s the first real gift he’s ever bought me and it made me happy to think he’s turning a new leaf and finally being supportive right when I need him.

Well about four hours ago he texted me to say he’d quit his job in the city.

He said he was quitting so he could focus on his mental health and getting better so he could treat himself, me and his kids better. He said he wants some time to find himself.

Well that’s a lovely sentiment but it also means that as he is now unemployed he no longer has to pay me any child support once the baby is born.

So financially I’m doing this on my own now. What great timing to find this out!

And those contractions just keep on coming. I may have to go up to the hospital soon.

Hooray! I’m having so much fun…

Advertisements

15 thoughts on “Just great…

  1. Ugh… Keep your aunt away as long as possible. Sounds like nothing good can come from her being near you right now. Wishing you all the best! Hoping for a positive outcome for everyone…

  2. You’re doctor isn’t lying to you. A c-section is the safest option in your situation. Either way how, when, and with who you have this baby is no one’s damn business.

  3. Wow, your aunt, WOW! I very, very much doubt a doctor would ever lie to a patient about needing a c-section when they didn’t. Your aunt and cousin need to learn their place and step back for a bit.

    I think with new babies a lot of people see them as a family commodity, forgetting that it’s not about them at all.

    And hey, if you’re in labour right now you get the experience of that part, which is a good thing as you wanted to experience labour. It’s only a small part but I suppose it’s something you’ll look back and be glad of.

    Big hugs!!

  4. Excuse my language but fuck all of those people! You’re doing what’s best for your daughter and that’s all that matters. I know it’s easier said than done but just ignore them and focus on meeting your sweet baby girl!

  5. I really don’t think your Dr is lying. The fact that he even suggested he would let you try a breech birth had baby been in the right position, proves that he is very conservative. I’d have the section and not think twice at this point because of her size alone! Your aunt is just being an aunt… and your cousin? She’s being ridiculous!!

    And I agree with above comment. Labor will be good to get those hormones flowing etc. It will be nice if this is labor, I’d say. πŸ™‚

  6. Please excuse my language but they all can just fuck off right now. I’m a doctor and I’m telling you that MDs don’t just do abdominal surgery for fun. There’s risks and lawsuits associated with any c-section and quite frankly modern medicine is going to provide an opportunity for you to deliver a healthy and SAFE baby girl while you will still be alive to enjoy her. You are doing the best and most perfect thing for her and for you. I’m so very proud and stoked for you, lady!!! Now do the best you can to get ready for that little princess!!!

  7. Sorry, didn’t read your whole post… Screw everyone who doesn’t have a specialist degree in obstetrics. So long as you and your baby arrives healthy it really doesn’t matter. Enjoy birthing your miracle baby and focus only on what truly matters. Loves.

  8. I’m sorry these people are doing this to you. honestly, sweetie, put ALL of this out of your mind. how dare them! there is nothing wrong with a c- section. nothing at all. this baby with be born. she will be healthy and loved and that is ALL THAT MATTERS. your dr. isn’t tricking you and your aunt sounds like a piece of work. do your delivery and bonding afterwards your way. you don’t owe anyone anything. you don’t have to think about anyones feelings but your own. good luck Sadie.

  9. The c-section crap drives me nuts. It gets so much bad press, but the truth is, it’s a safe alternative and I am thankful for the option, personally. I didn’t have a choice, like you my baby was breech. What I mean is, I’m glad we have this option available to our medical professionals to use when needed. I am very happy when I think back on my son’s birth story. It happened just as it was supposed to.

  10. First things first. C-sections do not in ANY way make ANY mother ‘bad’. No matter the reason they are scheduled! My mother had all her children via c-section. She is an excellent mother and a kick arse grandmother and that has nothing to do with HOW she delivered but everything to do with the fact she did her best and loved us to hell and back.

    This conspiracy crap about doctors lying etc is just that, crap. Are there dodgy doctors out there? Absolutely. But the majority just want to get their patients to the other end of labour alive and with a living baby.

    Your cousin should back off. She is making it about her and not you. James has every right to be there and to bond with his daughter. As long as he behaves himself that is.

    Good luck with your labour and delivery πŸ™‚ it will all be worth it once you hold her in your arms. Everyone else can fuck off.

    • I completely agree with sewingbutterfly’s every single word! Nothing more to add! πŸ˜‰ Except all the best for that so special and so longed-for day!

  11. Good luck missy! Don’t worry about your family, this is your life and your baby! Xx

    2girlsjourney2motherhood.blogspot.uk

  12. Good luck missy! Don’t worry about your family, this is your life and your baby! Xx

    2girlsjourney2motherhood.blogspot.co.uk

  13. Lock the doors, put a friend outside on guard and keep your crazy family away! In retrospect, I wish I had set stronger boundaries when Wyatt was first born. You need space to bond with the baby without the crazy!

What do you think?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s