About me

Hey there! My name is Sadie.

I’m a 29 year old Aussie battling infertility and desperate to be a mother.

What’s my diagnosis? So glad you asked! I have:

  1. severe endometriosis
  2. polycystic ovarian syndrome (that means I’m completely anovulatory)
  3. adenomyosis
  4. unexplained hyperprolactinemia, not related to a pituitary adenoma
  5. an irregular menstrual cycle which can be as short as 8 days or as long as 150 days
  6. dysmenorrhea – my period can last for 3 weeks and leave me barely able to walk
  7. vaginismus
  8. blocked Fallopian tubes
  9. a double copy of the MTHFR gene mutation at C677T

My ex-husband Doug and I tried for years to start a family.

I had three rounds of surgery to treat my endometriosis, and two rounds of needle diathermy for my PCOS, four d&c’s, multiple dye studies on my tubes (fun!) and regular MRIs to monitor my pituitary gland. We’ve also gone through six fully stimmed IVF cycles and two frozen cycles.

My first round of IVF ended painfully with ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome. 34 eggs were picked up but only one made it to freeze. OHSS was the worst thing I’ve ever experienced and something I never want to go through again.

Following my frozen embryo transfer in March 2013 I suffered a chemical pregnancy/early miscarriage at 5 weeks, 3 days.

After our second full IVF cycle failed, my body decided to stun everyone and briefly cooperate so we went through a round of ovulation induction and I ovulated for the first time in my entire life. Sadly, that didn’t work for us, not that we were really expecting it to!

We had 7 eggs picked up during our third full IVF cycle in October 2013. We transferred two day 3 embryos and I fell pregnant but required a methotrexate injection at 6 weeks, 2 days as the pregnancy was unviable and of unknown location (it was most likely in my right tube). We were also lucky enough to have one embryo frozen, a low quality day 6 blast.

Our fourth full IVF cycle began in January 2014. We had 10 eggs picked up, 7 fertilized and two day 3 embryos transferred but unfortunately neither implanted and none of the remaining embryos were able to be frozen. It was a devastating blow for us.

After my second FET (using our low quality blast) failed we moved to a new clinic and my fifth fully stimmed IVF cycle resulted in empty follicle syndrome at egg pick-up. Just because we hadn’t dealt with enough already!

During our next cycle in April 2014 we ended up with a perfect 6AA day 5 embryo, and a lower quality embie in the freezer. We transferred our little high achiever (this time using embryo glue and taking baby aspirin daily) and once again I fell pregnant. My bhcg at 10dp5dt was 330, at 12dp5dt it rose to 805 and at 14dp5dt it jumped to 1870. At 5 weeks 1 day we had our first scan to confirm a great looking pregnancy in my uterus but at 6 weeks and 3 days I lost the baby due to a subchorionic hematoma.

Just weeks after my last pregnancy loss, Doug suddenly announced it was “all too hard” and that he needed to have kids but clearly I wasn’t going to give him any. The love of my life packed his bags, walked out the front door and I genuinely never saw him again.

The first half of 2015 was all about personal growth for me. Picking up the pieces of my shattered life, seeing my divorce finalised, selling my house in the city, buying a house near the beach and starting over with a new job and new friends.

Then in August 2015 the absolute unthinkable happened – I accidentally fell pregnant to my “rebound” man, James. To this day the doctors can’t figure out how a natural conception was possible for me.

At the time I found out I was pregnant, James and I had already broken up and went through months of terrible arguing and emotional trauma as we suddenly faced the prospect that we were going to have a child together.

I’m now just weeks away from my due date and equal parts deliriously excited and fearfully anxious at the prospect of being a single mum and what the future may bring…

Sadie xx


26 thoughts on “About me

  1. Best of luck to you. Unbelievable to be facing this in your 20s. I didn’t feel as if I was being taken seriously by my GP when I first raised concerns either… and I was 35 at the time! I got the whole “just relax!” Thing. Idiots. They should have sent me off for a simple AMH blood test straight away. I’ll be following your journey from Bondi Beach. Thank god we’re in Australia where IVF is so subsidised.

  2. Best of luck to you too!! It’s amazing how nonchalant doctors can be isn’t it. I had to see three different GPs before I was given a referral to a specialist, and even then the doctor actually grumbled the whole time she was typing it. Then my first fertility clinic didn’t take us seriously either, and in the end they called me their “learning experience” because apparently young people can need help too. Have you found a good doctor and clinic to help you on your journey? We’re definitely lucky our government gives us enough help to allow us to do this.

  3. Just popping in as as I noticed our blog titles are so similar. I’m sorry for what you are going through! I will be following along and pulling for you. Hugs.

  4. It’s crazy that the doctors didn’t take you seriously when clearly there’s medical reasons. I too am in my 20s suffering from infertility. I am now 26 and have been trying for 2.5 years. I find that it is mostly the people I know that say I’m young and I still have time. That’s what I thought almost 3 years ago!!!!

    • Hi there! I’ve found medical professionals extremely hard to deal with. We had to see three different doctors before one would refer us to see a fertility specialist and even then she grumbled the whole time she wrote out the referral. It’s just as hard going through infertility in your 20s but apparently not everyone realizes. Good luck on your journey I look forward to following your blog!

  5. Hi Sadie,
    I am from Perth and I am also experiencing it in my 20’s. And I’m doing my second round of IVF this September. Stop over to my blog if you feel like it because I totally understand what you are going through!

    • Hi there thanks for stopping by. I will definitely head over to your blog. It’s always nice to find others in similar circumstances (not that our circumstances are very nice…) it’s awful to feel isolated and it’s so easy to forget lots of others are going through the same thing. Good luck for your next IVF!

  6. I wish I had been taken seriously in my 20’s. All the Dr.s told me I needed to try until I was 30 before they would consider me ‘infertile’ and refer me to a specialist. I only wish I had known that I could have referred myself. I also wish that the Dr.s & RE’s read these blogs so that they could understand how we feel about these issues.

  7. Hi Sadie, I’m nominating you for a sunshine award :). Thanks for being so open and sharing your experiences here, even when things are really tough. I’m hoping things look up for you soon.

  8. So glad you’re sharing this. I’m 31 and I still get the ‘oh relax you have time’ line – from my older sister no less – grrrr. She’s quite a bit older than me and I know she’s hearing her own clock tick, and thinks I’m on easy street by comparison, but her assertions don’t help, in fact they hurt, after 2.5 years of trying and 6 months of fertility treatments (just the beginning no doubt). I don’t share it on my blog (I’m not that brave – kudos to all of you who are) but love (and sometimes hate) to follow the stories of others in a similar boat.

    • Hi there thanks for the comment I don’t think I’m brave at all I try hard to keep my blog anonymous and sometimes panic that people in my family will find it and read some not-so-nice things about themselves!! Good luck with your fertility treatment!! And try to block out negative nonsense from your sister although I know from experience that’s much easier said than done!

  9. Hi, I’ve just discovered your blog. I’m French and 27 years old, like my husband. I seem to have nothing wrong (yeah, lucky me…) but my hubby has only 1% normal sperm. So far, we’ve been through 2 IVF & 2 FET – all negative, and not a blodd test superior to 1 ui. We’ll have our last FET with 2 blasto (2 at the same time, 1st time) around february next year, & hope not to have to do a third IVF.

    • Hi thanks for stopping by my blog I’m so sorry to hear you’ve been through so many negative cycles I look forward to reading your blog and hopefully you will be successful on your next cycle! Lets hope we will both be pregnant in February 🙂

    • Just stopped by your blog and see its all written in French (well of course it is! Silly me!) This will be a good time to brush up on my French! I used to have a French housemate but haven’t been fluent for a few years. I’ll try to read as much as I can 🙂

  10. So…take this advice with a grain of salt since I don’t know if you’ve already absorbed all the materials out there, but I’m currently reading a book I feel is worth considering in light of the dismissive attitude with which you’ve been treated with: Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility; co-authored by Sami S. David and Jill Blakeway. I’m not even sure that all of my medical/health issues affecting my IF have been discovered/diagnosed at this point, but I figure it’s worth trying something like what this book suggests – even if you do it in conjunction with ongoing ARTs. Hugs!!

      • Honestly, there are SO many IF books out there, it’s hard to figure out what’s a good book and what isn’t. There’s always people who love it, others who hate it. I figure that you just have to accept that no “program”, no advice, no RE or doctor or author is a magician – and that the best advice can really only accomplish, hopefully, to get a woman to the best health and fertility that is humanly possible for her. I think some people buy these books the same way people buy diet pills: expect to miraculously find THE CURE. Personally, I think you just look for what’s relevant to you, maybe learn something new – I’m really just trying to become a more informed “patient” so that we can find a new RE that better suits us personally.

  11. Sadie, I’m so sorry to hear of your most recent miscarriage. I’m a Melbourne girl too, and also classify as someone with ‘recurrent miscarriage” having been through 9 cycles, with 2 miscarriages, 2 chemical pregnancies and now too many failed transfers. Another one added to the list this morning. We looked at swapping doctors earlier this year but couldn’t find anyone that instilled more confidence than our current doc. I’d love to know who your new FS is? As he/sounds like someone who cares and thinks it’s weird that someone supposedly so fit and healthy just can’t keep a baby longer than 6 weeks. Thinking of you.

  12. So sorry you had been through so much.
    I am 26 and have been trying since I was 23 unsuccessfully. Due to the British NHS and not being taken seriously I have only recently seen a fertility doctor and I am about to start my first kind of treatment. And I hope this works as the waiting list for IVF is at least another 6 months.

    Best of luck to you and thank you for writing this blog. It can make a stressed girl feel not quite so alone!

  13. Thinking of you! You have not written in a while so I wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts. I hope things are improving for you and you are healing. This infertility journey is so damn hard, not to mention all the other obstacles of life. Please know you have support here ❤

  14. Sadie – I hope all is well with you. I think of you from time to time and hope that you have not posted because have left this all behind and are healing and moving on to bigger and better things. I hope you are okay. xoxo

  15. I can’t imagine going through all of that. I had 10 failed IUI and IVF that resulted in a 5 week 3 day miscarriage, which was devastating! Then going through divorce and an abusive relationship. I am so happy that you are pregnant!!! You deserve it. You are also an amazing writer!

  16. I know this post is a few years old now but I have just stumbled across it! I’m so sorry to read everything you went through – I was crying just reading it. I’ve had my own fertility issues also in my late 20’s but when I hear stories like this make my own seem so small – I have to wonder where people get their strength to go through years of pain like this. I hope life has been kinder to you these days and I’m so happy that you’re now a mummy. Best wishes to you 🙂

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